We defined self regulation and dysregulation in my last post. I want to talk about coregulation today. Psychologist Alan Fogel describes coregulation as the “continuous unfolding of individual action that is susceptible to being continuously modified by the continuously changing actions of the partner.” “Don’t rile up your brothers and sister!” was heard more than a few times in my childhood home. Teachers observe this dynamic in their classrooms every day and develop management strategies to minimize its distraction from learning.
However, can we take a moment now to consider that in our hurried, pressured lives perhaps we don’t always recognize that our adult behavior has an equal or maybe greater effect on our children’s behavior than either that of their siblings or peers? If so, shouldn’t we spend some time becoming aware of our own dysregulation triggers; developing coping strategies; and, thus improving our ability to self regulate? I think so!